Jawaban

Setiap sore selalu hujan, kenapa sekarang cuaca tidak menentu seperti ini?
ah tidak apa-apa wes. sabar aja di rumah. Sambil nulis secuil cerita.
Kisah  ini di mulai dengan sebuah jawaban SMS dari mu yang membuat sedikit harapan bagi seorang laki-laki dan itu akan memojokkan kamu karena kamu tidak bisa menarik omonganmu sendiri.Seperti hal nya Anita . Dia adalah teman seperjuanganku sendiri. Dia menurutku seorang wanita yang ideal bagi ku. Sebab ia merupakan gadis yang kalem, sederhana dan apik aklaknya. Ini membuat semua cowok menjadi girang mendapatknmu. Terutama aku..Aku sangat tersenyum bila ada di dekatmu, sebab aku sangat mengharapkanmu, walaupun itu sangat berat bagimu.

Suatu ketika aku mengirimi kamu SMS yang isinya "Anita aku terasa sendirian dan aku malam ini kedinginan akan hujan".

Dia pun menjawabnya," Yo cari pacar yang bisa menghangatkan kamu"
Aku," Sekarang ini aku blum punya pacar alias JOMBLO"
Anita." Jangan gitu nanti bisa menimbulkan fitnah lo?"
Aku." Opo yo kamu ae yang menjadi pacarku?"
Detik pun mulai berganti menit, menit pun berganti jam, jam pun berganti hari. Kamu memberikan sebuah jawaban yang mengejutkanku. Sebuah jawaban yang membuat ku sedikit kecewa, hilang harapan dan sebagainya yang terdapat dalam anganku.

Aku yakin kamu mengirimkan jawaban ini pasti nantinya akan kebingungan sendiri sebab kamu masih belum bisa memilih. Pikiranmu masih dapat goyah dan ini yang ada dalam dirimu sekarang ini.

Malam ini biarkan menjadi malam yang kelam bagiku. malam yang menyedihkan. Namun aku sadar kalau tidak ada masalah begini aku tidak akan menjadi manusia yang berpikir dan berusaha. Ku anggap ini sebagai pelajaran dan coretan di dalam buku harianku.

******

Apakah ini?

Di malam yang sunyi, di iringi hujan rintik-rintik, tak ada satupun orang yang bercanda,dan bermunculan bagaikan gerombolan ikan yang sedang di beri makan pemiliknya. Rasa ini datang lagi setiap aku mendengar cerita kamu. Sungguh mengharukan sekaligus mengesankan bagiku. bayangan mu tidak bisa sirna di hati ku. Walaupun engkau tidak tahu akan hal itu. Tiga jam yang lalu kamu menceritakan sesuatu pada ku mengenai kehidupanmu. kamu sayang sekali terhadap orang tua mu sehingga kamu tidak berani menoleh sedikit pun. Di saat ini orang tua mu sedang sakit. Sehingga kamu tidak bisa lagi tertawa sebagai mana sehari-hariannya. Aku di sini merasa sangat terharu akan nasibmu. 

Aku berusaha untuk menghibur mu tapi tak sanggup karena engkau sangat lah kuat untuk di lunakkan. Segala cara sudah ku lakukan demi mendapatkan mu dengan segala perjuangan. Kamu adalah penerang dalam hidupku, penasehat dalam perjalananku, penghibur dalam laraku. Memang benar kalau sesuatu yang kita inginkan atau kita dambakan itu belum tentu dengan mudah kita peroleh. Tapi aku senang dapat mengenalmu walaupun aku tidak mendapatkanmu. Semoga ini sebagai pelukis di buku hidupku. Sehingga sewaktu-waktu aku bisa melihatnya sekaligus mengenangnya.

Sebenarnya kamu tahu kalu aku ini sungguh mengharapkanmu, tapi engkau sudah ada yang menghalangi. Aku tahu engkau sudah ada yang punya, tapi engkau takut untuk berkata jujur padaku. Setiap aku tanya "Gak pergi kamu?" Engkau selalu menjawab, "Tidak". Padahal kamu pergi sama pasanganmu.

"Aku tanya: Siapa lelaki yang singgah di hati mu?" kamu jawab, tidak ada " Aku jalan , pergi, Sms, itu Sendiri tanpa ada yang menemani."

Trus bagaimana aku harus menafsirkan diri mu?

Engkau selalu bilang ini , itu dan lainnya. Tadi ku tanya engkau bilang beginilah diriku. 

Ah, Semoga apa yang ku tulis ini bisa menjadi sebuah harapan bagiku untuk mencapai mimpi-mimpiku yang tertunda.  

Rasa ini

Aku tak bisa jujur padamu
karena ada dia.

Kadang ingin kumeraih untuk bisa
memelukmu,
bagai tak ada yang perlu
disembunyikan.

Tapi aku tak tega padanya....

Karena ada dia,
aku terpaksa segan.
Aku lelah,
kau harus tahu itu.

Kau harus tahu
kebersamaan ini kunikmati,
dan 'kan kukenang.

Hanya 'kan kukenang,
karena sadarku
dunia tak akan biarkan
kita terjadi.

Aku enggan menjadi milikmu
karena mereka bilang
kau bukan bidadariku.

Kau dan aku
tiada mungkin bersatu.
Kau dan aku
tiada tercipta untuk
aku dan kau.

I love you

Aku berharap you can love me.

Pagi yang cerah. Hati terasa senang. Semangat menggebu-gebu bagaikan akan perang di padang pasir yang tandus.
Aku masih juga belum mendapatkan seorang. Ingin rasanya menangis tapi aku seorang lelaki. Tidak seharusnya cengeng. Setiap kali teman ku bertanya mana gadis kamu, setiap kali aku melihat sepasang muda - mudi bergandengan tangan. Rasanya aku iri padanya.
Tapi kapan aku mendapatkannya? Hualloh huaklam..... hanya Alloh lah yang tahu ini semua. Semoga keinginanku cepat terkabul. Amin..................

Short Story

GRAVEL SHARPLY

By, Haryudi Krisdianto

EVERY hand raised, each time the image was a beautiful woman came to attack him. Trample the whole point of his soul. He was nearly shouted for help, due to stamping on the shadow that was always painful.

The incursion of shadow was like the ocean waves that ware installed, or jab like the wind that carries dust and spinning in circles to the bottom of hearts to lying to the dirt. He was getting out of bed on a quiet night.

Sometimes, it feels very lonely night her inner torment. He swayed like a drowning in a sea of lonely.

“Oh my Good”

Krisdin once again raised Takbir. Two hands ware developed on the leaves flapping ears. However, the shadows was come to attack him, so his prayer was not perfect.

"Oh, God, strengthen your servant," complained Kristin looked down noticed the tip mat.

The image was invaded again. Feels like skin tearing fistful heart, he want scream all his power, so that his shadow was be fall.

However, he realized that the cry of her heart that fistful it will not interfere with the night, her mother and her sisters would not be surprised to wake up dazed and amazed, like chick spread eagle predators invaded the chicken was so bitch.

Beloved mother will still be sleeping soundly like a pillow bolsters coil mattress thrown in, the younger siblings were sleeping soundly until overlapping fellow brothers. Occasional minor complaints heard from their mouths because of the cold night.

Krisdin do not care if his mother was asleep or not, her sisters feel the cold or not. He wants to pursue a quiet night was like a shadow that invade his mind. He would exert tahajud.

He did not want that the shadow of beautiful woman continued to torment him, his heart will field tahajud that can perform when the shadow was tortured himself. She will add her to challenge the shadow that continues to torment it.

It would be foolish if he can not escape the shadow of it. His students at the Madrasah will curse him, curse the students stormed insistently like a sharp pebble stuck in his entire face. He stammered want to break away from throwing sharp pebbles.

Astuti, the girl child left neighboring block in front of him, holding hurl pebbles sharp. The young girl just blooming chest that no matter who throws pebbles barrage stop in his chest.

Krisdin reach quickly the hands of the young girl, her hands clasped so tightly Astuti, but the girl ignored him. Astuti continue to survive there, Krisdin can not survive, He was struggled to release the grip of Astuti. However, the hand of a young girl just blooming chest would not be separated anymore. Astuti hand’s was united in the grip Krisdin.

"Duh Gusti forgive my sins," cried Krisdin thrashed.

Only Astuti who saw her, the girl was ripe companion on the bus when he grabbed a young woman's waist flawless in image. As soon as he was sturdy arms around her for not falling from a bus bench.

How dirty clothes she could be injured if it fell when the bus driver braked suddenly to avoid a collision when a motorcycle driven by a pair of lovebirds. Shoulder-length haired young woman would be bounced on the floor of the bus, that's why Krisdin grabbed her waist firmly.

If the young man will understand the pass-traffic manners, certainly the driver will not brake suddenly, and her height was not going to be pushed to the front to almost fall. Of course there will be no holding the waist of such events will not occur.

Indeed, the bus driver was not carefully, too fast to run the bus, if not driving at high speed, all passengers must not be pushed to the front brake when stepped on. He also pushed through several bench. Had also won, embracing her waist so as not to fall together.

This was makes Krisdin increasingly shaky, how about Astuti told all his students at the Madrasah? What if her students would be talking about him? What if to question his future wife?

Astuti laugh until beef cheeks eyelid. He tried to shake-Shake the hand that clasped hands Astuti. But, his effort was not success.

He tried to open the grip, but his fingers can not be opened, the five fingers as attached to the hand Astuti.

Krisdin tried to hide his anger against to Astuti, he tried to find the clarity of his heart that plagued the original turbidity. This shadow makes him resist an overwhelming anger.

The shadow was going to invade young until the skin tore his heart if anger could not be dammed. And, will more fall than with a beautiful young woman reached her waist in the bus. Who will help, if she was flawless in fall?

If the woman fell on the floor buses and will be covered in dust and will hurt a little hand and foot, what if he fall dignity as a fairly well-known madrasah teachers would be polite manners? Astaghfirullah ... Krisdin complain slowly.

Why is shaken when her hands reach waist sharp-nosed young woman and the olive-skinned?

Why is he praising the beauty of her face? His help is not sincere? But she would fall if he was a second late in reaching his waist. Ah, how beautiful young woman, and deserves to be best man.

"Auzubillah," Krisdin felt the tears start stagnant in the eyelid, without realizing he sobbed in the shadow of the torture.

Astuti still giggle mock him, many times he tried to lift his hand near the ear leaf, but no matter the slightest grasp of the hand Astuti. "Let go ..," Krisdin command began to show his anger.

"Why should I remove?" Astuti said.

"Are you who held my hand, aren’t you! So you must remove your hands," Astuti said while pickle face.

Krisdin try to release the grip, but her fingers were not tenuous one. "Astaghfirullah allazzim," Krisdin raised his hand as high as possible, the hard left. No Astuti in his room, no one in the vicinity. He was still erect noticed the tip mat, he only occasionally shaking her hands clench.

Krisdin confirmed his heart, he must challenge the shadow of a beautiful woman and Astuti who came and went. She was absolutely convinced that the shadow always invade it will go away with the remaining forces. Now the night continues to seep approach that is still early days in the lonely, distant last.

Krisdin lift interpretation, both him hands was raised in the ear flap, it is performing prayers him tahajud. ***